Saturday, February 6, 2010

Do you drink Coffee?

Q: If you don't drink coffee, should you ever start?
A: I don't know.



Personally, I don't drink coffee, but I find the beverage quite fascinating.
Many people act as if they are unable to function without it. A long time ago I asked my Dad why he drinks coffee. His response was shockingly simple - to paraphrase: "I wanted something to drink in the morning that was hot." And today, his style of coffee perfectly models that motivation. He loves to drink plain black coffee - the simpler the better. When faced with a only fancy options he will ask for the most "traditional" choice.

Others can be quite snobbish with their coffee. Which I, although not a coffee drinker, completely understand. My work life has brought me into contact with another level of coffee drinker - the largest growing sector in the customer base - asking for "whole bean" coffee. More and more people want to grind their own coffee. I didn't even know that people owned machines for this, but those that I have met are devoted to them.

My Mom wants me to start drinking coffee. She doesn't mention it every time she seems me, but usually once a month she starts up her "why don't you start drinking coffee?" propaganda bandwagon. She thinks drinking coffee will improve my health. (She's not wrong: http://men.webmd.com/features/coffee-new-health-food)

As a single guy, I've considered taking up the drink just so when I offer "Can I buy you coffee sometime?" I won't have to look like a 7 year old just in from finishing his snowman and hoping to get marshmallows in my hot cocoa. As an Achiever, I sometimes wish that I too can one day sit calmly "enjoyin my coffee" with the rest. As someone who has work related access to coffee, I feel like I'm missing out on some of the excitement I'm trying to help raise.

My last taste of coffee was horrible. Of course, that's because it was basically the hot black water my Dad drinks. I'm sure most aficionados would likewise be turned off if that's all they were exposed to, but is it really worth the potentially expensive habit of having to go to upscale places daily for my coffee?

The money factor can't be ignored. It's easily the number one reason I shy away from wine. I know I could easily become a wine drinker, but I don't want to have to deal with that crowd. A crowd that may get insulted if the wine you have to offer is substandard to their lofty aspirations or requires an uncomfortable amount of money required to give as a gift.

Not to mention, do I really need more caffeine in my system? Even when I make huge efforts to avoid it, my sleep schedule is unhealthy as it is. I wish Milk would somehow become cool. That's a drink that is no doubt great for you. A lot of people need it to start their day too. I'm shocked nobody ever tried to recreate the milk bar made famous in A Clockwork Orange:


Of course the milk drank in that establishment was enhanced with serious narcotics. And it's most noteworthy frequenters weren't exactly upstanding members of their society. It's tough to not have a milk bar instantly dismissed as "childish" but what about the idea of "Pomegranate infused milk" or some sort of innovative "cereal on the go" packaging? Is that really crazy? Is that crazier than willing my way through 15-20 distasteful cups of coffee before my mind is rewired to enjoy the experience?