"I ain't freakin, I ain't fakin this"

I was blown away the first time I saw Ben Folds Five live.
Mainly because it was amazing that just three people were able to produce that powerful of a sound.

Although I've never seen The Ting Tings live (hopefully that may change), I get the same impression.
It's just the two of them.
And they were just added to perform live at next Sunday's MTV VMA awards.

It will be the performance of the show.







NPR has a great live set from them streaming on their site

Enjoy your Labor Day weekend,
TQ

"It doesn't have to be good to be a classic"

I first heard the line from Kevin Matthews.
During his midday talk radio on the famous Chicago station "The Loop."
Probably heard it around 1990, when I was around 11.
It was mainly said a joke.
Spoken in a tone of a fake Disc Jockey of an imaginary classic rock station.

But I think the statement is true.
There are many factors that make something classic.
Popularity
Cultural significance
Longevity

But necessarily quality.

A television channel I've grown an affinity to over the past three or so years is AMC
That stands for American Movie Classics.
And it's not because of shows Mad Men or Breaking Bad.
(for the record, I don't like nor hate Mad Men but do like Breaking Bad)

They're rather reliable for a classic movie.
Classic in the sense I earlier outlined... not like TCM (Turner Classic Movies) which love to play very old movies.

For example, I'd list The Fugitive, The Usual Suspects, Die Hard as classic American movies. Fitting the title of the channel.

But tonight, AMC Failed me.
Right at 7 pm, as I was about to tear into a chicken breast / noodle thing...



No.
Not Classic.
Not in any sense.
And you won't find a guy who appreciates JCVD as much as me.
Bloodsport is a classic.
Nowhere to Run is too (albeit for different reasons).
But not Timecop!

This is what got me to thinking about tonight's subject matter.
What's the item I feel most defines "Classic"

Here was one of my first thoughts:



I instantly agreed, then grew a tad sad.
Sad because, and this goes back to that chicken breast / noodle thing...
I'm trying to quit Coke Classic.
I have NONE of it in house.
I've got about ten cans of the new silver bullet: Diet Coke.

It hurts.
The transition.
People tell me there's a light at the end of this tunnel.
Coke is so damn good.
I don't think there's ever a situation in which I'd be offered a cold can of Coke and turn it down.

Full Strength

Give me the Sugar.
Give me the Calories.
Give me that Caffeine that's going to keep up past 3 am.

My will was almost broken at lunch today.
I was drinking a private label DIET Lemon Lime.
It was a free sample from a new vendor.
In a label we don't even market.
I ate more vegetables that I didn't recognize.
Probably the first time I've ever had that particular item.

One of my closest work friends celebrated a birthday today.
I ate a cupcake.
And one cookie.
It was the first diversion from this campaign that started Monday night.
It took just under 72 hours for me to break the plan.

Hopefully I can build a streak until next Sunday.
I'll be at a baseball stadium.
I refuse to avoid their hot dogs.

Ok, I admit it, I watched Oprah again.

First let me say that in Chicagoland, the home of the Oprah, the show's on multiple times a day.
Please don't think I'm taping this show.

Just like the other night, I'm flipping around the channels...
As soon as I flip to Oprah I realize she's talking to one of the seated people in the audience.
It's a man.
This is why I didn't flip to the next channel.
From my limited viewing experience, I didn't think men were allowed in that arena.

Before I can decipher what this informal Q&A is about, his name pops up with the subtitle:
"Says more sex makes him happier."

Thinking Oprah may have pulled a huge "get" and snagged Captain Obvious to be her next guest, I continue watching.
Turns out this man's wife, seated next to him, took a belly dancing class and...

You can see where it goes from here.

Some people forget that Oprah was a "Jerry Springer" in her early career.
Her shows were routinely mocked by comedians for featuring an ecletic mix of lesbians, alien abducts, and your standard fare white trash Americana.

Then she got legitimate.
She started a book club.
Found her spirit.
Endorsed Barrack.
And as much as I enjoyed it, reunited the Cosby Family the other night.

Thankfully, Neil Patrick Harris saved me from watching more Oprah.
He was the second guest on Letterman.
NPH, will be forever respected by yours truely due to this:


I loved that show.
I demanded that my bedtime be extended to include the program into my weekly routine.

And what about bedtimes?
I heard my cousin doesn't have one for his kids.
Some of my friends may have survived this parental training mechanism.
It was such an essential part of a new school year - the extension of my bedtime.

I was already at an odds during recess not having cable.
Now I had to contend with playground talk of last night's Carson?
(that's Johnny Carson, not Carson Daly - although I'm sure nobody reading this would make that mistake)

Oh, Nas is on Letterman now.
A track about Fox News?
It's amazing how much a live backup back and improve a hip-hop performance.
Nas seems to be wearing a leather jacket dedicated to Team USA
The 1996 U.S. Basketball Team USA.
And finally, an awkward moment between Dave and Nas.

Idea of the night from President Elvis:
Example of Power versus Power of Example.

Closing Thoughts on the Olympics and other thoughts at 3 am

Misty May may have won her second consecutive gold medal in beach volleyball, but that's no excuse for having a tramp stramp referencing a Wife Beater who's not your husband.

D. Wade made me proud to be an American and, as always, associated with Marquette University.

While at a party on Saturday, me and another guy were watching the 4 x 400 women's relay.
U.S. started gaining ground on Russia.
We both start yelling
Everybody stopped to watch it too.
We take some credit in the comeback.
I then yelled out, "That's why we won the cold war muthafuckas!"

Another guy at this party, was acting drunk.
Later, he got drunk, but he likes to act drunk.
I can only handle him in small doses - only see him maybe twice a year.
He kept referencing how "gay" Men's Diving was.
Ironically, he didn't (and probably doesn't) know that the Aussie to win that gold medal is the only openly gay gold medalist of the games.
Openly gay.
NBC should be ashamed for not showing his family and partner in the crowd.

Danny "Harry Potter" Radcliffe was on Conan tonight - said he watched the Olympics...
But he called it, "China versus U.S."
Great Britain won it's most medals in Olympic history, but he never saw one Brit Olympian.

Medal Count is bullshit.
As Herman Edwards said:

Hello?
You PLAY
to WIN
the GAMES!

China wins the Olympics, they had the most gold medal.
This ain't a Bronze-off.
As another coach once said, I'll say about China:
"Crown their ass."

-

Pre-ordering off iTunes is the only way to go.
The Verve's comeback album (I know, their latest one) drops Tuesday.
I was able to download it at 10 pm Monday Night.
I'm listening to it now.
Quality.

Too many sailboats in the Kennedy bio-pic at the Democratic National Convention tonight.
But... I guess it's okay to be an elitist if you're a KENNEDY.
Personally, I agree with Bill Maher when it comes to political elitism.
I want my politicians to think they're better than us.
It's a big job... Better think you're qualified.

Listened to the Slate Podcast today.
It was a story about what if Obama loses.
As much as an Obama victory will be a gigantic step towards equality.
An Obama loss will be as much a step backward.
Here we are, U.S.A...
A chance to try to right a wrong.
And many will say, "nope, let's not just stay racist - let's be more racist."

Watched a bit of Oprah tonight.
This is not a regular occurrence.
She had the kids from The Cosby Show reuniting.
Man, that show was great to watch when I was a kid.
I'd like to show that show to my children if I have the chance.
You know Dr. and Mrs. Huxtable would campaign for Obama.
They couldn't possibly be Alan Keyesesque Flat Taxers, could they?

Turned off Oprah after a half hour.
Theo and company left the stage.
Then Oprah announced that everyone in the audience gets all 8 seasons of The Cosby Show on DVD.
Crowd goes nuts.
Then, before she introduced David Cassidy, she holds up a pink smart phone from Sprint.
Oprah urges people, if they have a Sprint phone, to text something for I don't know what the purpose.
Then she mentions ringtones available that sound like Partridge Family songs.
This is her segue to Cassidy's performance.
The crowd goes bezerk.
Not bezerk for Cassidy, bezerk because Oprah - still holding the smart phone from Sprint - gives a sideways glance to the crowd and a sideways smirk.
They can smell free shit like it's a buffet day at the zoo.
People start literally shaking others in the audience.
Yeeaaah, can you believe this? Can you believe we're here? Can you imagine we can feel this alive? We have a free phone and 3 freaking months free... Am I dreaming?

Realizing that Rudy and Associates aren't coming back, I flip off and make the comment out loud in my empty bedroom, "And you know what else you get my fans? The antidote!."
And I laugh at my own joke.

If people can quit something bad instantly, can you start something good just as quick.
That's what I'm attempting.
I don't smoke.
Never have.
But if I did, and I tried to quit, I'd try the old "cold turkey" routine.
I'm starting "healthy eating" cold turkey.
Small steps.
Tonight my dinner included squash.
In an absolute WTF moment in my newfound (aka living on my own) life.
TQ eats squash with turkey meatballs.
No fast food in sight.
Hope it lasts.
Need strength.
That... and 2,000 calories a day.

Brian Westbrook, does "redeem team" mean anything to you?
This year, make me forget, forgive... Fortify.

Broken Social Scene announced an October show.
Not just any day in October.
The Thursday before my Friday My Morning Jacket Show.
Could that be the best back to back concert experience of my life?
Need to find somebody for that B.S.S. show first.

Back to this party from Saturday for a moment.
Someone asked me where I was from.
Although it hasn't happened in YEARS, I knew what she meant.
I said, "Des Plaines" knowing that's not what she wanted to hear.
(Before that)
I then said, "Prospect Heights" growing angry inside.
Before she added, "I'm american."
And she asked if my parents were born in America.
The anger is unknown to me.
In the past I felt shame at my speech impediment.
Used to collapse inside my shoulders when the thought was raised.
Recalling that memory before 6 year old soccer when some kid asked me, "Do you speak English?"
Pour the liquor out of your ears bitch.

I have no idea who Russell Brand is.
He's hosing the MTV Video Music Awards.
It's a new low of pop culture ignorance.
Bothers me, only somewhat.
But still... have I been passed by?

It's an urban legend. The "F" word is not an acronym for Fornicate Under Command of the King.

Do all young people in foreign countries think all Americans have the speech pattern and syntax of George W. Bush?
In the same way we assign the same English and Aussie accents as generalizations.
Is our forceful german mocking impressions a kin to Southern drawl jokes across the pond?

My penchant for dating strangers appears to be decreasing by the day.
Still at an unhealthy high level, it's refreshing to notice a decline.
I've seen the fish in the sea.
Participated in that pool.
It's exhausting.
Thinking of it makes me want to make another attempt at slumber.

Happy Thoughts,
TQ

VEGAS CONFIRMED!

Today I bought my plane ticket from Chicago to Las Vegas.
The ticket price was $310.50 (roundtrip).
Thanks to an inconvenience I went through on a business trip last year, I had a $50 coupon.
So how did I pay for the remaining $260.50?

I had been planning this for a while.
A new poker room opened in Hammond, Indiana.
It's on the new Horseshoe Casino boat, which boasts the largest poker room in the Chicagoland area.

I took Thursday off of work, with the intention of going to the Casino after work on Wednesday night (and spending a significant amount of time there).

My goal was to play $1 - $2 no limit hold'em (cash game) until I made enough of a profit to fund a plane ticket.

Withdrew $400 in cash from the bank on Tuesday afternoon.
I started playing at 8:30 pm Wednesday Night.
Buying into the game for $200.
I stopped playing at 4:30 am Thursday Morning.
Cashing out of the game for $409.
Deposited $600 in cash Thursday afternoon.

I'm glad to have a positive session.
Regretful that I didn't fully maximize my last large pot of the night.
If I had, I would've been able to fully fund my airfare.
However, the $200 in profit brings the plane ticket down to a manageable $60.50.

As for my accommodations, I've earned $175 in MGM Mirage gift certificates through my Rewards on my Credit Card.
This will cover two nights at one of their mid-tier properties.
(That means I can't afford Bellagio or The Mirage)
So I'll probably stay at Treasure Island or Monte Carlo.

I'm waiting to book the hotel reservation.
Usually, "TI" e-mails me specials.
The next one I get, I'll probably utilize.
Hopefully I'll have some left over to provide me a free meal at one of their restaurants.

On a final note about this trip:
Currently, I'm going alone.
Thankfully, my Louisville trip showed me just how fun a solo-vay-cay can be.

I'm looking forward to the 11 pm Nightly Tournament at Caesars.
I'm looking forward to one of the many morning and afternoon tournaments at TI.
I'm looking forward to watching Bears vs. Packers Monday Night Football at the Wynn Property.

The rest of the time, who knows - it's Vegas.
It will be a bad trip if I wind up reading pool side.
It will be an okay trip if I wind up at the Caesar's blackjack table
It will be a good trip if I wind up at the TI craps table
It will be a great trip if I end up celebrating something at Tangerine
It will be an amazing trip for the ages if I end up celebrating something at Pure.

Yet another Phelpsian Post (hopefully the last)

I'm not ready to call Michael Phelps the greatest Olympian ever.
As far as I'm concerned, he's certainly the most accomplished Olympian.
The hardware in the above picture is testament to that.

Here are some others I've heard mentioned as being the best:



And that's just OUR COUNTRY... And to a lesser extent: just the Summer Games.

That being said, I owe Mr. Phelps an apology.
I wrote that he didn't win that race (100 meter butterfly) last Friday.
In the true spirit of Americana - there are now pictures to prove me wrong:

Sports Illustrated really turned up the volume on their coverage of this controversy:

So it looks like Phelps is going to lose:


Yup, give this one to the Serb:


Are they both touching?


Upon closer inspection (same photo as directly above - just enlarged):


And that's what one hundredth of a second looks like:

Even the Serbs, after reviewing the FINA footage, conceded.
I guess there's really no reason for me to stop hating.

Classic: Men's Synchronized Swimming

NBC Universal has pulled the full version of this sketch from the entire World Wide Internet. Although that's quite the accomplishment, it really sucks when you want to watch the whole parody again.

By the way, my cousin was a Synchronized Swimmer... It's true. I don't know how good she was at it, but she trained and everything... I'm pretty sure she would've laughed at this too.




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