Sunday, November 5, 2023

My Dad (1937-2023)

The first obituary I've had the honor to write.

* * *

Dan dancing was once described by his mother-in-law as a "potty dance"

Daniel Joseph Quiery passed away peacefully in his sleep last Saturday at the age of 86. He is survived by his wife Patricia (Plouff) Quiery, daughter Maureen Quiery, son Thomas (Jennifer Kelly) Quiery, sister Margaret (Quiery) Dittmann, and 21 nieces and nephews. The family is comforted that he will be reunited in Heaven with his parents, five siblings, and his infant son Kevin.

November 2021 with his sister
Born and raised in Milwaukee, he graduated from both Marquette University High School and Marquette University. After graduation, Dan met Patti and began a relationship that would see seven different decades.

A salesman to his last day, his career took his newly pregnant wife to the Chicago Suburbs, where they welcomed Maureen, Kevin, and Tom. He served on the parish council of St. Alphonsus Liguori Parish - a church that would barely contain his emphatic voice from the Lectern or his boisterous singing from the pews. Dan’s civic passion led him to proudly represent Prospect Heights on the Commission of the Palwaukee International Airport, to run a dramatic race for Alderman (in which he received the second most votes out of two candidates), and to routinely make a mockery of himself on a high dive to entertain fellow citizens at the park district pool.

But during his first meeting with his future daughter-in-law, he would boast his most prized accomplishment: 2011 Escort of the Year. This was obviously referencing his volunteer work during his retirement driving people to doctor's appointments who were unable to drive themselves. There is no hardware to document his other titles:
  • Most Likely To Give The Postal Worker, Snowplow Driver, or. a Garbageman a Bottle of Water
  • Best Retail Customer in a Supportive Action of Calling Strangers by The Name They Chose (or asking them how to pronounce a name)
  • Outstanding Lifetime Contributions to the Practice of Therapy as Administered by Retired Patrons Drinking Coffee in McDonalds
2011 "Escort of the Year"

Dan Quiery was a funny man. He dabbled in both intentional and unintentional humor with material that earned laughs more for its delivery than quality of punchline. You didn’t need to understand his joke, but you couldn’t doubt his intention to entertain. His specialty was storytelling, which would lead to closing sales and fostering friendships.

As a Father, he would attend every Daddy/Daughter Dance, shoot free throws in the driveway, and always be THERE. Nothing was ever prioritized over his focus of loving and supporting the mother of his children. 


The services will take place on Friday November 10. Visitation is at 10:00 am preceding a Funeral Mass at 11:00 am - both at St. Alphonsus Liguori Catholic Church in Prospect Heights. In lieu of flowers, the family asks for donations to The Beloved Retreat at Old St. Pat’s Church.

February 2023 with his daughter

* * *

So that's what I pasted into Legacy.com (minus the pics)... Some additional context to the above references:

  • January 2023 with his family
    My dad had tons of affinity for Marquette University High School. He spoke fondly of his time as a "player" in the theatre department and his unexpected induction into its Sports Hall of Fame (for what we know was a water boy his freshman year for a State Champion Football Season). He donated every year to the school until his death.
  • March 2021 at a Marquette game
    He also went to Marquette University. The youngest of six siblings, his parents retired and moved to Florida was he was 18. Left alone in the city, he lived off campus with three roommates to take classes in the morning and work second-shift at a canning plant. He was on academic probation the entirety of his enrollment and had to ace the last class he took (Christian Family & Marriage). Of course I went to school there too and I loved bringing him to as many basketball games as I could.
  • February 2015 in a Culver's
  • I'm forever curious what my dad was like between 1960 (when he left Milwaukee for his first job selling paint in Minnesota) and 1970 (the year of his wedding). It's impossible to frame a perception of him that wasn't motivated by the love he had for his wife. My mom says, "there may be men as good as Dan, but nobody is a better man."
  • The bulk of his career was selling law books (Matthew Bender, later purchased by the Tribune Company), a job made obsolete by computers. Perhaps that's why my two parents never aligned on a vote for President - because changing laws was good for business. I know he was great because he was awarded "President's Club" status that got my parents reward incentive trips to Aspen, Maui, and more. He said his favorite job was working for a taxi company getting hotels and retirement communities to hire their drivers. It was a perfect mix of a workplace full of characters, a community that needed engagement, and a showcase of his most underrated skill (driving a car).
    November 2021 with his wife

  • During 4th of July holidays, our small suburb had a festival that included suspect tilt o whirls and a park district pool. For a few years in a row there was some sort of informal "diving performance" in which my dad wore a funny hat and performed various "comedic dives." One in which he would feign incredible nerves from the 20 foot high dive which would cause the board to shake wildly. Another bit included waving his arms like a windmill until his hand would eventually smack his own butt propelling him to the water.
  • Palwaukee International Airport, later named Chicago Executive Airport (the Willis Tower of Airport Names), is jointly owned by the village of Wheeling and the city of Prospect Heights. A Commission (that acts like a Board of Directors) comprised of ten citizens (five from each municipality) manage it. The Chairman of this Commission changes every year to have its leader rotate annually between Wheeling and Prospect Heights, which meant every other year my dad was the Chairman of the Commission.
  • March 1998 in politics
    My dad got absolutely destroyed in his one and only attempt at formal politics.This is likely due to his disdain for yard signs (too braggy) and to his refusal to say one bad word about his opponent. I am dying to tell you more here - expressing my true disappointment in Prospect Heights - but I know my dad wouldn't want it.
  • There's a detail in the above obit that might catch some people who know me off guard. Kevin Quiery was born in July 1976 and passed away due to liver disease in April 1977. The horror of knowing an infant is ill and flying across the country searching for care is something I'll never experience and can't bear to imagine. Kevin's experience on Earth forever changed our family for the better.
  • Finally, my sister and I were never "bad kids." Neither of us saw the inside of detention hall and we acted so beneath the law that we didn't even have curfews. But we were high maintenance. It demanded that our parents were always there and they WERE. I appreciated his guidance on everything and will recall my memories to aid in any future decision I'll ever make. I had 44 years with the guy and I was thankful the entire time. I'll never stop being thankful. He was the best.
    My role model