Ya Follow? (my 13 favorite tweets of 2013)

I like writing dumb jokes on Twitter. Here are some of them:

 

How did you hear the news?

Had I known, I would've stopped tweeting momentarily starting last Friday.  How huge would it have been if my 1,000th tweet would have been a retweet of the official news of Osama bin Laden's death?  Instead, I just simply tweeted that joining Twitter was a good decision as my 1,000th tweet.  Then late on Sunday, my opinion was forever justified as my Facebook feed was full of newly posted pictures of pets and laments for the end of the weekend while Twitter was erupting.

Here are twenty selections from Twitter in perhaps the most intense four or so hours of my tenure (for lack of a better term):

 

It may be different for you.  Personally, I choose to not customize my Facebook feed at all.  I want to see that world in its most ugly grimy version.  Nobody gets hidden and I'll only consider defriending you if you steal my kidney.  Additionally, I have not "liked" many news pages - the ones that tend to break news.  My Twitter feed is usually in constant flux as I list and unfollow accordingly.

Is this the best tweet yet? (I'm sorry I wasn't listening)

I have been more Achiever-focused than usual in the past 24 hours:
Last night Burkhalter posted the official Facebook Event along with the updated 10th Annual Page on LebowskiFest.com.  This morning I made sure to call the official hotel for the Fest to book my reservation under the discounted rate. (Something I highly recommend to everybody that knows they are going - the hotel block always sells out)  And then this afternoon I noticed @lebowskifest started following me Twitter.

It's official fellow Achievers.  The "LeBlogski" link was removed from www.lebowskifest.com.  The Founding Dudes had given me fair warning.  All I had asked was for a simple shout out when they finally did scatter the ashes.  The result is easily the best tweet I've seen in my Feed since signing up on Twitter in late September 2010.  If I could, I'd have Sam Elliot him-Stranger-self say, "Much obliged" to Will & Scott...

Well, I guess we can close the file on that one.

This was my final post on LeBlogski:
I've got to uh-- tender my resignation or whatever (February 19, 2011)

Co-Star in the Beaver Picture

Like a toe (with nailpoish!), LEBLOGSKI is getting cut off.
When asked about the idea of shutting it down, I told the Founding Dudes that its absence will most likely go universally unnoticed.  LF's social media integration (Facebook / Twitter) is strong enough to get it into the next round robin (#amiwrong).  It is a much smoother way for them to connect with Achievers.  But just in case people see this, thank you very much for reading.  There have been a couple instances when people have mentioned to me at a Lebowski Fest that they've read it, which is always surprising and flattering.

Favorite posts from my tenure as the Lebowski Fest Blogger:

• Jury Duty, which I used to convince the Founding Dudes to let me write.
• My open letter to John Goodman (but I did really love my "Stranger" open letter too!)
• The photos I took at the 9th Annual
• Chicago's Jesus Duel (with special mention to any post involving Vaudezilla)
• A small "Behind The Music" on the Nightline story.

For those looking to feed their Lebowski fix by way of a blog, I can't recommend lebowskipodcast.com strongly enough.  In addition to the podcast maintained by Fest-regular Chalupa, the blog on the podcast's website is consistently updated with Achiever-minded stories grabbed from the fringes of the Internet.

Thank you to Will & Scott (the Founding Dudes) for allowing me the privilege of sharing my like love of Lebowski on their website, and in turn with all of you.  This news won't stop me from writing about Lebowski Fests in the future (they just won't be here, but on my personal blog instead).  More importantly, I can't wait to catch ya later on down the trail at an upcoming Lebowski Fest.

Goodnight, sweet prince.[TQ]

Who wanted to be in Red Eye for a week?

One of the people I follow, Elliott Serrano (@GeekToMe), passed along a contest by an editor at the Chicago Tribune's microblog Five on Five. I heard that opportunity and hoped to lazily wedge my foot into the knocking door.

Mr. Serrano tweeted that Five on Five was the path to his blog. Cue delusions of grandeur. Or at least, delusions of free paper temporary notoriety. "Yes, I think it's apt for me to have a week long showcase since my blog already has a question theme." Or maybe this fantasy conversation would mention that it was destiny?

Look how close I came!

I wrote to the winner, @downers89, "congratulations.... I type that as insincerely as one who was the 1499th follower can."

Admittedly, I only clicked follow for this contest. However, I'm not going to unfollow like a bunch of us greedy tweeters did. Mr. Moore's on a follow tryout, which he'll surely pass if he is as useful as his @GeekToMe associate.

Maybe I'll try to get into this thing the old fashioned way of answering the five questions of others in the hopes of being contacted? Time will tell. But I'll tell ya: getting that thing would've been quite a bump to my narcissism.

In a related note, all my friends are probably happy I didn't win this because I would've been in everyone's grill that entire week demanding they pay more attention to Red Eye than a baby on a ledge.

Have you eaten a McRib?

I love McDonald's.... Immensely... I can put in a majorly huge order if so destructively motivated. Screw it, I'll eat an entire white bag of hot fries if given the opportunity. So, with that being said, how is it that I've never had a McRib?

It's such an iconic menu item. You hear of its reappearance like a rumor in the wind. And it disappears with as much mystery. Even people who don't like McDonald's like this item.

While standing in line at lunch at maybe it's polar opposite counterpart, Panera, I saw a tweet from a local photographer, concert/music enthusiast, Will Rice confessing his McRibless life.

It got me to thinking... Who else is out there? I'm not just talking about Vegetarians. I'm interested in people who willingly go to McDonald's but have never ordered the McRib.

Mr. Rice also mentioned, via Twitter, that he has also abstained from the Big Mac. This doesn't seem like that big of a deal to me because we've all had the components that make up the Big Mac in other menu items. Whether you know it or not, you've probably eaten a Big Mac. On the other hand, there's no sideways route to the McRib.

Tell me: Have you or have you not eaten a McRib?

What did I do without Facebook?

A man I just met last night told me that it takes a couple months to "find your voice" on Twitter. He may be on to something, for all I know I spent the majority of my "month off Facebook, but on Twitter" not knowing who to be or what to say on Twitter. By the end of the month I finally settled upon a picture to post, name to use and bio to write.

So what did replace my time during October? Did I do something productive? Not really. I ended up spending a lot of time thinking about my blog (and more time writing). I changed my top logo, updated my far too outdated profile picture, widened the layout and tweaked the design template.

I understand that most people don't go to this site unless they click a link from their Facebook feed. Also, I don't think anybody would read the 20 posts written during the hiatus (which is the 3rd highest volume number in the five years I've been blogging). Here are the three posts I was most proud of, that if you have some more time to kill, that might be worth a click:

• Kevin Pollak Story (I couldn't help myself and had to jump on Facebook to post the link)
• Best of 2009: Part 2 Mixtape (Most enjoyable idea of October)
• Plea to cancel Running Wilde (Maybe the most commented post I've ever written*)
  

*Which is not saying a lot. Double because some of the comments are from me thanking the strangers that commented. I wonder if there was some search that disgruntled fans were typing into Google that was pointing them in my direction. Regardless, it's a post that was tough for me to write, but very self gratifying.

Are you a narcissist?

Kevin Pollak once asked me if I was a narcissist.

My level of narcissism has been precisely defined. It's at the relatively high level that propels me to write three different blogs because I think people actually want to read what I'm writing. However, it is not in the mesosphere range necessary to thrive on Twitter.

From another, more brutal, perspective: People who know me, who tolerate and understand me, are more prone to read my blog than the strangers of the Twitterverse. And that's more than okay with me. I'm not very comfortable putting myself out there with well choreographed tweets to build a base of followers.

I'm in the midst of an identity crisis... A virtual (social networky) identity crisis. I thought Twitter would help me think though this... I'm still thinking...

That sideways comment aside, I do think Twitter is worth it.
If you spend a lot of time online, and rely on it for infotainment, you should be on Twitter... But know who you want to be on Twitter. Most users fall into either active or passive categories. Those "actives" are not just the people that tweet what they had for lunch (those people give Twitter a bad reputation). The better "actives" have a definite strategy behind their tweets. They tweet consistently but not extravagantly, usually around the same time of the day and are wise to talk as much (if not more) about others than themselves. They want people to follow and aren't shy to follow others. They use their real name.

Although in my most vivid narcissist dreams I have followers in the 5 digit range and get retweeted daily, that's just not going to happen unless I do something entirely stupid [like fall ass backwards into unwanted infamy]. The other way to get a huge follower base is through a lot of networking, more self promotion and hard work. More importantly, my content is not where it needs to be to prevent strangers "unfollowing." (A feeling that somehow stung more than a FB defrinding)

One more negative aspect of Twitter I can't deny: I feel like I'm stalking. I almost wish there was more of a permission stage when I want to follow a stranger... I want to declare why and my intent for the follow. But most people on Twitter want to be stalked. They use it as their stalker bait engine. Although I was appreciate to have received the track I had blogged about, it was still somewhat of a shock.

For now I'll continue on Twitter passively. The twenty or so comics I follow are more than great. God help them if I ever see them in an airport terminal or something. I might even "unlike" some of the overlap from Facebook because I think Facebook works best with people you know and Twitter works best with people you don't. It will still be an enjoyable experience to see what's trending and participate in odd hashtag games. More importantly, I'm gonna win free tickets to a concert by retweeting if it's the last thing I do!

Do you want to "follow" the Jersey Shore cast?

In one of my recent sleepless nights I started playing a little Six Degrees of Twitter and stumbled upon the entire cast of Jersey Shore. With their season finale airing this week, perhaps you'd like a way to keep tabs on your favorite fist pumpers?
Nicole Polizzi @Sn00ki (758,000+ followers)

JWOWW @JENNIWOWW (440,000+ followers)
Pauly D @DJPaulyD (438,000+ followers)
Vinny Guadagnino @VINNYGUADAGNINO (334,000+)
Michael Sorrentino @ItsTheSituation (323,000+ followers)
Samantha Giancola @MTVsammi (187,000+ followers)
Ronnie Magro @MTVRonnie (163,000+ followers)
All of those numbers were as of early Sunday night, no doubt those numbers have changed by the time you are reading this post.

Either Angelina does not have a Twitter account or nobody of the above cast have chosen to follow her. I can't believe the above wouldn't want to if able, for the smallest reason of knowing if (or perhaps when) she is tweeting trash about them. It's expected for Snooki (note that somebody must've gotten to that username first, for she has to use zeros for her name) to have the largest follower base but I'm surprised to see see JWoww in second. I would've assumed Pauly D, currently having a "hit" on the charts right now, to have a larger number. The Situation's relatively low follower number wouldn't be too surprising given the negative portrayal he's received in the recent episodes but he's also been on Dancing with the Stars during the same time span.

BONUS PEOPLE!

Nino Giaimo @RealUncleNino (13,000+ followers)

Caitlin Ryder @Ryder__ (7,000+ followers)

I'm not currently following any of these people... Although I am tempted to follow Uncle Nino because it's rather clear from his tweets that he's doing it himself - not though a proxy.