(from the pre-blog archive: 9/23/2005)
Thursday 8 pm (Arlington Heights Park District Men's Basketball League)
A competitor was driving to the hoop, and jumps to attempt a lay-up. Meanwhile I am slid over to take a charge call (which I got!) Unfortunately, what also happened was his lead shoulder jumping right into me, landing below my right eye.
As the lemming subscriber to an HMO plan, I do the "economical" thing of driving myself home, icing half my face... The next morning schedule a doctor's appointment for 1pm.
Friday 1:45 pm (Primary Care Physician's office)
My doctor finally sees my face, I have a good relationship with him and I know him outside his white coat... he tells me that I'm going be fine, and if I was being paid millions of dollars he'd throw a face mask on me and I'd be back playing in 4-8 weeks) He says he's very confident that I have broken bones, and I'll need an x-ray... he will give me a referral to go get an x-ray
Friday 3:30 pm (Lutheran General Hospital radiology) After handing my HMO card and photo ID to everybody but the janitor I'm finally getting X-Rays
Friday 4:00 pm (L.G.H. radiology waiting room) the receptionist of the waiting room says I have a phone call, its my Primary Care Physician, he says the X-Rays came back negative but said, "I saw your face, I know its broken, I'm sending you to a specialist"
Friday 4:20 pm (L.G.H. third floor:) the receptionist at the specialists office asks me if I have a referral. I call the Primary Care Physician's office, after holding for 15 minutes, I ask for the referral.
Friday 5 pm (The Specialist's office)
The specialist looks at feels around my face and instantly says I have an orbital (eye socket) and zygomatic (cheek bone) fracture. He says the orbital fracture will heal on its own, but the cheek bone has shifted and is now blocking my jaw muscle. (since Thursday I have been unable to open my mouth wide enough to slide solid food between my teeth, but can thankfully still talk). The following is a WORD FOR WORD account of the dialogue
Dr. "we will have to make an incision inside your upper lip, set the bone back, and use a titanium plate to put it back together and keep it in place
TQ: "will this plate come out after its set?"
Dr. "no"
TQ: "so you are saying that I will literally have a metal plate in my head for the rest of my life?"
Dr. "yeah, but its small"
TQ: "will it set off metal detectors in airports?"
Dr. "I don't know."
Let me just tell you that "I don't know" is not the best phrase to hear from a doctor you met less than a half hour ago who will soon be operating on your face.
Friday 5:30 pm (L.G.H. radiology)
I hand them a referral for the Cat Scan that the surgeon will need. The receptionist asks me if the CT is "contrast or non-contrast?" I tell them to call upstairs... the receptionist tells me their office is closed and the phone went to voicemail
Friday 5:45 pm (LGH radiology)
After I go back to the third floor, bang on the locked door, find out the answer, I'm back downstairs and tell the receptionist that "non contrast" is always the case unless otherwise notified.
Friday 6:15 pm (LGH)
I finally walk out of the building, catscan done but no surgery scheduled because the surgery scheduler left for the weekend at 4:30. The burden is now on me to call the planner to schedule my own surgery.
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This story perfectly describes my current situation. I am not in pain but perpetual discomfort. I don't know when the operation will be yet, but I was told about half the people spend the night in the hospital and take the next two days off work. Supposedly post surgery involves a lot of swelling and more vicadin.
I hope you got a smile from this story, as my friend told me this weekend, "Tom, I don't feel bad or sorry for you because I'm too busy laughing at your jokes."
