Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Do you believe in the healing power of Jesus Beards?

Q: What is the most memorable non-musical moment at a concert you've had this year?
A: The My Morning Jacket lap dance.
Ryan and I stood up throughout the entire My Morning Jacket two and a half hour set last Sunday at the Chicago Theatre. So did the guy to my right, who flew in from North Carolina (and might I add is one of the better air guitarists working the scene today). If anybody had an excuse to take a breather - it was me (due to the staminia reducing coughing fits afflicting me for the previous 48 hours). My Morning Jacket is just not the kind of band you can take sitting down. They are capable of dropping into an extended jam at nearly any point in any song. Why would you want to be seated during that?

Probably if your girlfriend wants to perform a lap dance.

Now I've seen gratituous displays of public affection at concerts before... It's as common as being offered illlegal substances and as fun as the Officer Friendly pre-show pat-down. The last concert Ryan and I attended (Radiohead in Indy), a couple were streched out on the lawn in front of us trying to find a paranoid android in each others' pants during the Grizzly Bear opening act.

During the song "I Will Sing You Songs" (Off MMJ's "It Still Moves" album) nearly everybody in the five rows ahead of Ryan and I sat down. It's one of their slower grooves. One concert goer that didn't sit was the tramped-stamped mamma who provided me with one of my most vivid non-music related concert memories... She was not an amatuer (or at the very least must be a proud owner and disciple of the Carmen Electra Stripperobic DVD series):
-locking her wrists together at the top of her head pose
-over the shoulder pouting with the arched back pose
-mime quality imaginary pole with which to slide down

This wasn't anything significantly spectacular. But the volume got turned way up when she reached back to grab the chair arms and conmenced Champaigne Room intensity grinding. She could have at least rode that pony to the beat of the song, but she needed to gallop instead of trot.

Unsurprizingly, diffrent motives appearant to all, they left shortly after the exhibition - with more than an hour left in the show.

I'm done confronting others at concerts. I'm finally understanding people pay their ticket and want to control their own experience. A sad lesson learned after an awkward moment at last March's Feist show. You can also take a step back if you think I'm jealous (or at least, a half step back).

Music, more than ever, is becoming a personal experience. NPR's All Songs Considered year end wrap-up made a remarkable comment about the end of the Boombox Era. More music is listened to on earphones then ever before. Music for the Masses is taking a step back in favor of more personal introspective fare.

Bon Iver, not Bon Jovi.

One day movie theatres may have to install personal headphones due to cell phone and movie talker ettiquite. Will concert halls have personal headphones availible if the artists prefer to recreate the iPod experience? Does that really sound unrealisitc? I don't think that's what anybody wants.

Lost in this tale is my cough, which thankfully was as intracned with Jim James as I was - allowing me to go the entire set without having to excuse myself to hack or regain my breath.

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