Monday, January 17, 2011

Is Michelle from The Bachelor crazy?

Michelle: not crazy.
Tonight was a perfect storm of reality trash with the 3rd episodes of both ABC's Elimidate and Jersey Shore airing on the same night.  It was a night where I turned a corner with one show (The Bachelor) and was hoping there would be a corner to tun on the other (True Life: I Pump Fists). [Post 1 of 2]

Michelle, the self described WOMAN among girls, is clearly being painted as an evil mastermind of courtship by her show's editors.  And yes, I'm calling it her show now.  About halfway through tonight's episode I had a moment of clarity in regards to her: the "crazy" actions in a "crazy" set up are actually the actions of a sane normal person by some sort of a mathematical double negative rule.  All women in an early relationship should act, and more importantly feel, the way she does.  She should want all the other "girls" to get on a plane and go away.  She should want to hijack her way into any conversation not involving her.  Hearing of her target kiss other girls should piss her off.  And she's the only one seeing clearly (or admitting) at this point.  She's calling out this dude and he's loving every minute of it.  At the Rose Ceremony some other girl showed weakness by vocalizing her self doubt, but Michelle didn't hesitate boasting her confidence.  And that's how you need to feel if you're facing down a Rose Ceremony: if you don't have the confidence that you have a connection worthy of a red one, you shouldn't get one.

Speaking of not having the Flower Power, Madison did the right thing.  Once again, here's another example of someone painted as a crazy person acting the most sane of all.  Of course she doesn't feel any connection because Cowboy Awshucks never gave her a chance.  Don't get hung up on those fake fangs: once they were off, so were the gloves.

In Michelle and Madison I felt like I could see the motivation behind their actions.  I can relate to that.  When Ashley (?) floated a false preference of being sent home now instead of later it reeked of double reverse mind games.  The pause it created in the lonely Cowboy was, to me, his second honest emotion and reaction of the season (the first being the first confrontation with Vampire Madison).

Then I realized that this honest emotion I saw from The Bachelor was one of a lack of understanding, and that might be a clue.  Is this guy dumb?  Seriously, I'm staring to think he is just a hot bod with perpetual face gruff stuffed in a fancy car and expensive fashion.  Most of what he says feels written for him by another.  He doesn't have a conversational speech pattern expect for when he says, "I like (you / it / that / when), I really like (you / it / that / when)."  Other times he's sitting down saying platitudes prefaced with, "I promise you..." as if there are cue cards held up behind the girl he is facing.  This will no doubt read meaner than my intention, but he reminds me of Forrest Gump: Stupid is as stupid hands out roses.

So after three of these episodes, I'm still going to hold to my initial prediction that he's going to get on a knee for a southern belle.  It's clear that Michelle isn't going any where anytime soon.  For the record, if I had to pick one of these girls - I think I'd be leaning towards the funeral director at this time.

Or I'd be running off the set to track down Madison because I think she left her prop teeth behind.


  1. I had the same Forrest Gump thought, which I also meant without malice. I like you A LOT...Jenny...

    He also says "please" a lot at the end of sentences. "Can we just go have a good time...please?"

    My favorite is the dentist, followed by the dark horse, Stacey the bartender.

  2. I dont like him at all. I think he is annoying and he is NOT very attractive. Yes he is fit but I think thats all he has going for him!!! I think I would have taken the fang girl route and got out of there ASAP.