Monday, January 3, 2011

Why do you watch The Bachelor?


I watched ABC's version of Elimidate tonight.
The sole reason I wanted to watch it was to talk about it.
People at my work have a gambling pool based on the show.
These colleagues have a fiscal rooting interest in the bachelorettes.
For the record, I'm not in on that competition.
For the record, I kinda wish I was.

Supposedly this "returning" Bachelor is a very hated man.
Not seeing his first season, I don't understand why.
Would people rather have him propose to a woman he didn't want to marry?
Call me simple, call me heartless, call me one that can't believe you can find honest real love while Chris Harrison tells you which order the producers want you to call out names like "Ashley H." as if he's reading who is supposed to be line leader to fourth grade music class.

I can find heart in bad television like the fist pumpingly wonderful Jersey Shore, but I struggled tonight (but eventually did find some sincere emotion in me). Yes, I rooted for the beauty in a blue dress because she was, like me, from "outside Chicago" and couldn't quite get her moment in front of Mr. Cowboy. Of course I was not happy that Madison the Vampire got a rose.

The moment of tonight's episode that came as close to sincerity as I could be convinced was the confrontation to Madison the Vampire. For a split second I thought that Mr. Cowboy might actually not find her teeth a funny joke - that he wanted to take 30 incredibly attractive, unrealistically (perhaps artificially) in perfect shape strangers who were literally jumping into his arms at first sight, asking him to get down on one knee for a quazi-proposal and hitching up their boobs while exiting out of limos as a serious venture to arrive at the most important decision of his life.

A decision that he's had to make before. Which leads me to my initial disgust that this Cowboy is back on the TV. Like I typed earlier, I support his non decision he made three years ago - but I can't quite support ABC's decision to bring him back. It's not like this show needs a ratings gimmick, and they have more than a full stock of past rose-less contestants wanting to control the spotlight instead of vying for it.

It's a show that I'm going to continue to watch, for now - if only to be able to talk about it around others that talk about it. Maybe I'll grow a rooting interest in someone like that WOMAN that has a five year old kid. Although if I was said Cowboy, it would take a mighty strong steer to rustle me away from that bubbly first impression rose winner.

So here are my stupid snap predictions:
Madison the Vampire is a plant of the producers. She had to make it to episode two, or she's a known person in Cowboy's life to provide inside intel.
The Rockette's dancing antics will grow tired on everybody, and will be her downfall.
Chris Harrison will wear something hideous at a rose ceremony.
Someone gets a tattoo on a one-on-one date.
A crew member will get fired for interfering with "the reality."
The Bachelor will propose to a woman with a southern accent, and she will accept with less tears than the man on his knee.

1 comment:

  1. I watched this show for the first time ever. There really is NOTHING on tv on Mondays. I cant believe his choices...a mortician, a vampire, a poor woman who lost the love of her life in a plane crash, a "manscaper"...I am not sure how many weeks I will be able to watch but for now I just feel embarrassed for most of these women. They are trying so hard and its kinda sad.

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