Tuesday, March 22, 2011

How do you get from a Frat House to a Penthouse? (VEGASTORY 1 of 6)

IP Penthouse Bar
Even though the flight was at 9:30 pm, I wasn't going to wait at home watching the clock tick.

Advance scouts had reported that TSA's staff cuts in half after 7 pm.  It was my intention to get through that section of the check in process by that time - and successfully got through without a wait and with my dignity/privacy in tact.

I sat at the gate by myself for a long time.  When I say by myself, I'm also referring to the empty counter and all gates in my periphery vision.  I was in a figurative desert waiting for transport to a literal one.  But none of this fazed me in the slightest - more time to read my book. (which book might you ask?  Click here to buy your own copy of Death By Strip Mall!)

As the gate started populating with more people, including my friend and two more childhood friends of his, the feeling was as electric as a song my MGMT.
MGMT - Electric Feel by rockndroid

Frat Flight 469 left on time.  It ran out of booze before it landed.  There were ten women, if that, on the plane dominated by logo wearing boys old enough to be men (of which I most certainly qualify).  Across the aisle one of'em had a propped up iPad with a headphone hub to allow all three to watch an in-flight movie of their choice.  It was an impossible angle for most to recognize the movie, but the style of video and title cards made it obvious to me.  They were watching Jackass 3.

By the time the plane landed, bags were reacquired, taxi line waited, and neck craning out of the packed taxi rode, we finally stepped into Imperial Palace (from now on only referred to as IP) at 1:00 AM.  You would've thought Lady Gaga tickets were about to go on sale judging by the line at the front desk.  It's been fifteen months since I last set foot on a Vegas Property: It didn't take long for me to realize I didn't have to spend the first hour back waiting in line.  My bags were almost thrown at the Bell Desk as I made my way to the IP Poker Room.

By 2:30 AM I was +$120 and decided to cash out while I had a profit from the poker game to check on the line at the front desk.  It was still long, but not as long... I'd say it was a line you'd expect to see for Johnny Mathis (not very long, but barely moving).  Wanting another "free" beer, I sit down at Blackjack with the only intention of playing until my drink arrives.  I won another $25 waiting for the beer.

I commit to the front desk line at 3 AM (which is 5 AM my time) and endure there for a solid hour as the gravely understaffed IP struggles.  My room has been taken.  Or my room isn't ready.  Regardless, I took this immediately as okay news - as the wait was such a bear I was considering taking by bags elsewhere - literally.
"...so we've upgraded you to a Penthouse at no extra charge, but when your room is ready tomorrow you will have to move."

Now that's more like it... I text the group that was also staying at IP if they got the same deal - they did not...  I instantly told them to stop up to see it, for it wasn't going to last long.  As I waited for my friends, I took pictures of every corner for a newly created Facebook album.  It featured a nice bar and a Jacuzzi that can only be respectfully described as "hooker-riffic" (chandelier, mirrors, a carpeted stairway up to it, and more mirrors).

Mirrors make you look more popular
If I was brutally honest, it wasn't all that great.  I don't even think the pictures make it look any better.  But when you compare it to what a "regular" IP room looks like I do wish I had it more than 3 hours.

It's not until after 5:00 AM did my friends leave and I was finally able to fall asleep.  My phone was set to wake me up at 7:00 AM.  No snooze bar was needed, or wanted...

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