Saturday, April 11, 2009

How will this project end?

Q. If the first person you wrote about was your sister, who will be the 40th and final?
A. My brother.

(For Lent, I've decided to write 40 posts about people I love / made me who I am / thankful to know / appreciate)

A very long time ago my Father and I rode our bikes from our home in Prospect Heights to All Saints Cemetery in Des Plaines. It was the only time I had ever been to my brother's grave, until yesterday.

Yesterday, Good Friday, was the first time I ever went there by myself. My only 20+ year memory of the location was vivid enough to get me close... It took me less than 10 minutes to find what I was looking for... The sight of how close together one grave is to the next and how some gravestones only have a single date engraved had quite an effect.

I knew Kevin's death was in an April. I didn't know much more. I saw the date and realized that the anniversary of his death was this past Tuesday. What did I do this past Tuesday? I thought to myself... The answer: Went to work, played basketball after work, checked my fantasy baseball team before I fell asleep...

That's all I did? It made me feel the urge to apologize, and I did... After regrouping I also softly said thanks. Probably just how a selfish kid brother should... It's horrible that I was so cavalier in not recognizing that day... I should have at least called home to tell my parents I love them. Instead I just lived my selfish life. But, as I've said before, I don't think I'd be here (at least not in this capacity) if Kevin had survived past his ten months he saw in this realm... that's why I gave thanks...

To summarize the last 40 posts, especially today's, in as a simplified statement as possible:
I'm happy to be alive.

Happy Easter everybody.

1 comment:

  1. Awesome post. We're happy you're alive too.