Thursday, August 7, 2008

Memories from the summer of 1995

I'd like to share my top five memories from my tenure at Walgreens.

5. Walking the 4 blocks to work and back. I think the only reason I decided to have Walgreens as my first job ever was because it was the only non restaurant job I could accomplish this feat.

4. Refusing to sell "a pack of Reds" to the piss ant jerk that lived down the street from me.

3. Selling a home pregnancy test to a co-worker (it was on special + the employee discount). Those of you who know me best will not be surprised that although I was 16 years old when this happened, I didn't realize what was actually going on until over a YEAR later.

2. A pack of Trojan condoms were not scanning properly. I called over a coworker to whisper for him to go find the price. The man trying to buy the prophylactics thanked me for my discreetness. Later that night, the mildly retarded man working the Liquor department announces over the store's speakers that he needs a price check for the same item. This happened when I was with the store's manager. The manager's reaction: using his hand to catch his falling head while repeating the liquor clerks name repeatedly.

1. A customer asks me about two candy bars near the register: Mounds and Almond Joy. She asks me what the difference between the two (because I assume the packaging is near identical in font and design)? I said it in the cadence to hopefully spark her memory of the popular TV commercial, "Almond Joy's got nuts (pause) Mounds don't-" It's a shame she didn't ask me "Why" because I had the follow-up verse locked and loaded.


The reason why I decided to walk down my retail clerk memory lane is because I saw a 36 pack of Trojan condoms at the local Costco. I had a very difficult time imagining the need for that volume of product. It appears that I'm still not that far away from that kid ringing up a home pregnancy test for a coworker.

Selling condoms were fun at Walgreens. It was in an era before they were nonchalantly advertised on TV. I respected (not to mention envious of) anybody buying them. A coworker once told me he sold a pack to a guy, and after he handed him the receipt (if you didn't it'd cost you $5) and autopiloted a "Have a nice night" salutation. The girl that was with the guy said, "Don't worry, he will."

I don't know if that story was true or not, but it made me smile then... and for a different reason - makes me smile today.

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