Friday, September 25, 2009

Who will win in a fight between Michael Cera and Jesse Eisenberg?

Q: Who will prevail?
A: For the indie crown man-boy title of our current time!

In the Blue Corner, smirking non confidently is Michael Cera:

In the Red Corner, condescendingly smiling is Jesse Eisenberg:

Where did I first see these two?
MC: From the under appreciated TV show Arrested Development
JE: From the under recognized movie The Squid and the Whale

Where did I last see these two?
MC: Getting the girl in Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist
JE: Getting the girl in Adventureland

Where did enough people see these two and officially break them out into pop culture?
MC: The sweet boy in the lude comedy Superbad
JE: It might be this weekend, if there are enough people willing to see Zombieland.

Two friends and I discussed the relation of these two to each other.
One called Eisenberg a 'poor-man's-michael-cera' while the other one disputed it by saying 'i don't like michael cera.'

I think they are cut from the same cloth.... And I am such a huge fan of Arrested Development and The Squid and the Whale that I actively seek out movies starring the same actors.

The Kingdom was better in my opinion thanks to Jason Bateman (A.D. alum).
The Lookout was a charming surprise totally because of Jeff Daniels (T.S.&T.W. alum).
And the main reasons behind the last two movies I've watched (Adventureland and Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist) are tied as well.

But who is better?
Give Cera the edge if the role is comedic.
Give Eisenberg the edge if the role is dramatic.
As for general awkwardness... that's gotta be a draw...

If there's some underage basement party, and both MC & JE are there - who gets that very hot girl dressed as unattractively as possible?
(Green Army Jacket, hair falling in front of beautiful eyes, skinny jeans with natural holes at the knees)
Cera gets her certainly.

Put that same girl reading some Greek Mythology book in a library - Eisenberg's got the edge.

Ok, let's flip it a little:
Jack Jockington, the high school Quarterback and Douche-of-the-year is going after one of those two - both seated at the same table in the cafeteria...
Cera gets hit - hard.
Eisenberg is able to talk himself out of it.

Who's more likely to divorce his first wife: Eisenberg
Who's more likely to have his first wife cheat on him: Cera
Who's more likely to become more famous after death: Eisenberg
Who's more likely to enjoy his newfound fame more: Cera
Who would I rather have next to me on a plane: Cera
Who would I want to date my 19 year old daughter: Eisenberg

And now a quick moment to note the topics that rise in my mind after just watching both Adventureland and Nick and Norah's...
-Both had an unexpected plot point involving Judaism
-One is heavy in illegal drinking, one is heavy in illegal drugs
-One had two very (in my opinion unattainable) women after the lead role, the other had a clear distinction in beauty between the two female suitors
-Both try to further the urban legend that intelligence is attractive

But there's something both of these movies showed that I really liked.
The fact that musical taste is a very attractive quality in the opposite sex.
It was a little more subtle in one, but displayed nonetheless through a major motif prevalent in the other... (the mixtape).

About two years ago, I mentioned to another that I had a bad date because she revealed an awful taste in music. This person (it was a woman) said to me, "Nobody likes your music, nobody even knows of the bands you listen to, you are intentionally a music snob." It was tough for me to argue on her principle (although I vehemently deny that I am a music snob).

But I can't see myself falling in love with someone who likes country music.
I have a tough time finding respect for girls who have been to multiple "Dave" concerts.
American Idol should not be where you find your next favorite performer.

I went to another concert this past Wednesday.
It was a band that I actually saw earlier this summer.
That night, I thought I might have found that girl that has an attractive taste in music.
If you recall (, it didn't go so well...

The show this past Wednesday wasn't as good as that time in June.
But I successfully talked to zero girls and bought zero drinks for anyone.

Nothing ventured, nothing gained, nothing lost, nothing humiliated...

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